Many of us have been through a terrible relationship break down, but when Laura Yates went through her own heartbreaking experience, she discovered a gap in the market. After trying unsuccessfully to find answers and discovering that no one was sharing their experience of heartache in a very real way, and after others going through their own heartbreak sought her support, Laura knew she had to help.
Highlights
Biggest Challenges
- Getting the right systems and structure in place
- Shiny Object Syndrome!
Words of Wisdom
- Focus on your strengths and don’t get bogged down with what you’re not so good at
- Get yourself out there, people like to work with people so make yourself visible!
- Be yourself, get inspiration from others but don’t think you have to be like them
Links and Tips
Get in touch with Laura the Breakup Coach
Full Interview
AO Hello everybody, welcome to this episode of she owns success. Thank you so much for joining us today, I’m absolutely delighted to be speaking to Laura Yates. Laura is a breakup and dating coach and writer, she helps people to move through and move on from the pain of their breakup and to create amazing changes in themselves and their lives.
She’s a creator of the Breakup Recovery Road map, the online calls that will have you back up, waking up smiling, and have you fall in love with your life. Laura’s work has been featured in the likes of e-Harmony, Match.com, Daily Mail, Reveal, Closer Magazine, FHM and Entrepreneur on Fire, to name just a few. So Laura, you’ve heard the introduction, lots going on, but do tell us a bit more about yourself and your business before we go into it.
LY Sure, well first of all thank you very much for having me and for that lovely introduction as well. It’s weird when you hear all those things back to yourself because sometimes you don’t really take on board all of those little achievements so it’s always nice when you hear them back.
So as you mentioned I am a breakup and dating coach so the core part of my business really is helping people through breakups and heartbreak, mainly in relationships. I help some people with friendships but it’s mainly the relationship stuff so yes, I mean in terms of where that all started it’s a bit of an interesting niche.
00:01:32
AO What inspired you?
LY Yes, well all right, it’s a bit of a personal story behind this and what inspired me was going through my own breakup if I’m completely honest. I was actually coaching before so I had coaching skills and I was coaching, I was coaching only women at that point and I was kind of more just a broad life coach. And I’m still really trying to find my feet in terms of where I fit in the coaching industry I suppose and where my ideal client was and all of that.
And then during that time I actually went through a really bad breakup, my relationship broke down and I had to finish it. And it was just through going on that journey and I had break ups before but this one was quite different because it was the most significant of my life. And it kind of changed so many other things it was just like this catalyst that then changed all these other areas of my life as well and changed me and how I looked at myself.
And it was really transformational. I’m a writer as well so what I was doing I was writing about my experience, I was writing about what I was learning, what I found helpful, what I didn’t find helpful. And I was sort of putting it out there really. And my work got published on a public big website and more and more people found it, and then people would reach out to me and they would say I found that, I found that really really helpful, it was really comforting it’s just so nice to know that someone else understands what I am going through. Do you offer coaching in this area?
00:03:03
And so it very much found me and so the more people that did that the more than I realised gosh you know there’s…breakups are universal, no one’s immune to them, no matter how successful you ware, how attractive you are, how smart you are, how wealthy you are. No one’s immune to it and we all go through it. And yet it’s something which there seems to be such a lack of support for. We don’t really open and communicate if we’re really struggling.
And so I just thought why don’t I start helping people in this way? And I did, and I worked with a couple of clients just to see and then the client base expanded and it just went from there and I never looked back. So it was something which very much found me, it was a very very organic journey.
AO Thank you, but what a fantastic story because the fact is you were out there already and you were writing about what you were experiencing and you were putting yourself out there as it were and through that people were able to find you. Had you not been writing about this and had you kept it to yourself as so many people do then who knew, who knows what’s happened, this might not have happened for you.
LY Exactly, and it certainly wasn’t intentional, I mean I know that when I was – you know like we probably all do, we go to Google when we go through something like this and say how to get over a break up. And then Wiki answers come up and actually over the past couple of years because I immersed myself in this so much, there are so many great resourced, so many great articles, that when I was looking I really noticed that there wasn’t just…there was a lot of cookie cutter advice out there.
And I just thought I don’t really feel that that applies to me. That doesn’t really resonate. And so I just felt well I’m just going to kind of share my, what I’m learning and show what’s going on for me and just put that out there. I didn’t really think anything would come of it, it was really just, it was quite cathartic for me and it was very therapeutic and I really do find that with writing in general.
00:04:49
And yes, and so people obviously found it and then found me and so, yes, it was very much, I couldn’t have predicted that that would happen but I’m so pleased it did, and also it was just nice that something really positive could come out of something that was kind of so tough at the time.
AO Definitely. So what were the actual first steps and actions that you took them to actually get started because people have started to contact you then, people have started to reach out to you, you’ve started to provide this value to them and that support? What did you do next?
LY Yes, so I mean at that point, like my website, I can’t remember if I proper website, I think I did, but the copy on it was different so I kind of then just…I really went full in, I went all in, I was like right I know that I’m going to niche my business in this direction. And from a business perspective that was a very, that was a smart thing to do, because what I found before where I was kind of helping people with confidence and some people were coming to me about like career advice and other people were coming to me about love advice.
00:05:50
And so I was sort of at this mish-mash of different areas that I was working with people and so it’s very very hard to reach a certain type of person when you’re doing that. And so if I’d been able to focus I just decided to get all my content towards helping people through heartbreak, helping them through breakups. And so that was really the first step, just really getting clear on what my offering was, what my message was, what it stood for. So that people immediately knew that when they looked on my social media or looked on my website they knew exactly what I did. So that was really the first step.
AO You mentioned a really important thing there and I have to pick up on it, and we’ve spoken about it before in the show, it’s the niching thing. So before you said you were doing coaching already, you talked about doing confidence coaching, career coaching and people coming to you with a mish-mash of things, all sorts of things so you were kind of, albeit maybe a fantastic coach, but all things to all people. But then you decided having had this experience to really reach out and to really get clear on who your audience was. What difference did that make? Did you start to – what change, what did you start to notice when you did that, anything different?
LY It made a huge difference because it gave me a lot more clarity, when it was all still a little bit wishy washy I was like well I don’t really know what articles I should, or what blog post I should be writing, I don’t really know what content I should be putting out there. It was when I got really really clear it just gave me more, it gave me more purpose, I was really fired up about it, I was really passionate about it, and obviously, that reflected in my work, I had so much more inspiration. So it just – once I got really really clear on that it made so much difference in all areas because I could really tailor my content towards people who I knew it would resonate with.
AO Thank you so much, find a niche people, whatever it is you’re doing, you may not be doing coaching, whatever your business or your offering, your service, your product, you need to have a niche because then you can really serve people as well as possible. And so – sorry go on.
00:07:45
LY No, I was just going to say yes, I completely agree and that’s what I did. I don’t think people should feel like oh my God I need to find a niche by six o’clock tonight so I really double down and focus on…Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time you know, I think to figure out what you’re really passionate about, figure out what, if you have had experience with working with clients or customers or whoever, who do you really enjoy working with. Who do you feel really inspired by?
And there are clues in there and it might be something completely unexpected but really spend some time thinking about that because once you get it right it’s kind of then like, it’s all systems go then so you can afford to just spend a little bit of time experimenting and figuring out what works. So just a little added thing in there as well, people shouldn’t feel that they have sort of get this nailed immediately.
00:08:30
AO Absolutely and being passionate about whatever it is you’re doing is so important, isn’t it? It’s probably the most important thing because that’s what will keep you going and carry on and that will kind of flow through in everything you do.
LY Definitely
AO So I’m sure you’ve been through ups and downs and roundabouts on this journey so far but tell us the single most difficult challenge that you’ve had to overcome in your entrepreneurial journey.
LY Yes, there’s been a few! There have been a few, got to be honest. I think my main one, so I’m not really a systems gal, I have in the past, I’ve been a little bit all over the place, one minute I’m writing a blog post and the next thing I’m writing a newsletter and then next thing I’m like oh you know I should be like emailing my clients. And so for me, it was about really prioritizing what needs to be done and being quite structured in implementing this.
Not necessarily being structured in right, all right I need to write so and so many blog posts, I need to write a facebook post, because I really believe you have to be quite inspired about what you’re doing to create that really compelling content. But just having a few systems in place so that you know, you know what you’re doing each week, because what I was doing is I was jumping around from one thing to another, I was starting to design one program and then I was like oh, I’m not very sure about that, I’m going to go on to something else.
And so it’s actually just sometimes taking a little bit of time out to really figure out a bit of a plan for yourself because otherwise, it does lead to inconsistency and really when you’re…I know when you’re working online, when you’re running an online business, consistency is really key. You’ve got to be sort of putting stuff out there all the time. And something else I used to do as well, and I still fall victim to this even now sometimes, when you get shiny object syndrome and you’re kind of looking to others for inspiration.
00:10:19
And you’re thinking oh my God she’s got this program out therefore I should be doing it. Or she sends this kind of newsletter out so I should be doing that. So it’s really knowing the difference between looking at all of that stuff and getting inspired by it but not getting so influenced by it that you want to sort of start adopting those things as well because otherwise you’ll be taking bits of things and it just becomes completely inauthentic. So kind of know what I do is I plan my content in advance, I outsource some of the things that I’m really not good at, which there are quite a few of those, and you know, having mentors and coaches myself to help me do all of these things.
00:10:54
AO We all have those things that we’re really strong at, you know, that are strengths, and then there are the things that actually you’re never going to be great at it, you know, you can work really really hard and you’ll just be all right, so actually focus on those things that are your strengths. How did you make that transition then, you talked about the fact that before you were jumping from this to this to this to this, and now it sounds like you’ve managed to get a pretty kind of great set up and place where you have that focus. What helped you do that, how did you make that kind of change in the way of working?
LY Sure, I think it was, don’t get me wrong, this is all still very much a work in progress for me, it’s something that I’m working at all the time because I know kind of my tendency is to be very much jumping around thing to thing because I always get so excited by different things and always have new ideas. That’s great but sometimes it can work, or it can be a little bit detrimental.
So what I, I really just was thinking about things were becoming quite inconsistent, I had clients, I’ve had an influx of clients that I perhaps couldn’t sort of deal with at one time, and then I wouldn’t have any for a little while, and so I really recognize, like if I really want this business to work in a sense that enables me to lead the lifestyle that I want, and I don’t just mean financially but I mean in terms of freedom and flexibility and all of that I really need to have some systems in place here.
So it was just kind of a little bit, a bit by bit journey. Actually, all of these changes didn’t happen overnight; they were just like incremental changes.
AO And we have to give ourselves that time, isn’t it? Everything does take time.
00:12:25
LY It does, it really does, yes, and if you allow yourself to take that time it kind of, it does help just to give yourself that permission.
AO I love what you said about the shiny objects, that really really resonated with me because there are lots of…there’s so much going on, isn’t there, that’s the thing, and now there’s technology, social media and this and that. And everywhere you turn there’s something exciting and new happening that you can easily be kind of hopping around and having great new ideas and never actually completing anything.
LY Yes and the thing is, as I said before, it’s great to use these things to get inspired but I think what the key is it’s actually in…If you get inspired by something and it really resonates with you then that could provide an indication that something like that could be something you could integrate into your business or how you do things. But it’s then the implementation of it.
It’s like all right, so I’m taking that and then I’ve really got to double down and figure out how I’m going to make this happen in my business. And then taking steps to implement it.
You know you can consume as much content, you can consume as many business books or personal development books and have all of that knowledge in there but it’s not actually until you implement it that you will start to notice any results. But it’s so easy because there are so many people out there doing all of these great things.
00:13:45
So I think you have to be, you have to sort of know when you’re going down that rabbit hole of consuming and I think you have to be quite strict with yourself whether that’s eliminating your time on social media and just not having your tabs open, giving yourself little social media breaks where you say from two until half-past two I’m going to go on facebook and I’m just going to, you know, read what I’m going to read, and then half-past two you’re like right, back to work now, back to focusing.
So you do have to be quite disciplined in that way if that is something you’re susceptible to anyway, maybe there are a lot of people who aren’t, but if that is something that you tend to do then you have to be a little bit disciplined about it.
AO So let’s talk about your day to day because I think the people that are still working in their day job that are thinking about the kind of starting their own business they might not know what does it actually involved, once you’re doing it what does it actually look like. So what is a really typical or a great day for you?
LY So a great day is when I get to have quite a relaxed morning, something I really have had to take on board a lot especially this year is kind of self-care. And I think in the world of entrepreneurship there’s very much this ethos of work, work, work, go go go, and make things happen, work all hours. And that might work for some people but that for me was quite harmful and affected my health and everything so I really have to now make sure I take some time.
So in the morning I really like to have a relaxed morning, I like to have a really nice breakfast, I like to really kind of reflect on my day ahead. So usually in the morning I’ll perhaps going and do a yoga class – that sounds really cliché, doesn’t it? But I like to do those things to relax or just take a little bit of time, I love to go for a walk, I love being in nature.
00:15:38
So the first part of my morning ideally I do something like then I would coach a client. I collaborate with quite a few people as well; I collaborate with matchmakers so I work with their clients. So usually I have a couple of clients throughout the day. And then I love to sort of meet a friend, meet a friend for coffee or for lunch. And then I love to spend some of the afternoon writing, preparing blog posts or designing a new program. I mean every day, to be honest, it looks completely different.
But I know within a great day I really like to have some time for self-care, some time for kind of journaling and just writing down ideas and getting really inspired. I like to make some time for exercise and I like to make some time for seeing family or friends or co-workers or anything like that. I just like to have an amalgamation of all of those different things. And that for me really does make a perfect day if all of those elements are in there and helping the clients as well.
There’s nothing more rewarding, especially if I do a call at the end of the day where you know you really played a part in helping someone get through a challenge that’s been really really tough for them especially in the line of work I coach. So yes.
00:16:58
AO Some great daily, I guess habits there that you’ve talked about. So you mentioned about that self-care piece, that’s so true because we’re in the business of actually serving people, however, you’re doing it. And certainly, if you’re supposed to be doing that you’re not going to do it for very long if you’re not actually feeling bright or feeling well yourself. So I think more and more people are realizing that fact that they do need to actually take that time to look after yourself.
And then the yoga, it’s so important, and that reflection side of things, that’s when you can get some of your best ideas isn’t it, and that’s when…
LY Yes, definitely, and ask I said before we can have this tendency to think we’ve got to be in the business all the time doing things, doing things, but actually when you actually allow yourself to take that time out and reflect, a lot of this week, for example, I’ve been recovering just from a virus and I’ve really used this week to not work with many clients, to not be writing that much.
And to just really think about all right, I’m about to go through a rebrand and everything. So just too really, really think about what’s the next phase. And that’s just been so nice and I know that some of the best ideas that I’ve had have come from just taking that step back. So yes, it’s not like you’re copping out, you have to just allow yourself to have that time, I think, because some of your, the real nuggets of inspiration will come during those moments.
00:18:18
AO Definitely, that’s golden advice, that’s that working on your business as opposed to constantly working in it.
LY Yes, for sure.
AO Let’s talk about motivation. So you touched on the subject of inspiration earlier on and obviously, there are lots of sources of inspiration but what inspires you?
LY Yes, what inspires me, so as I said before I love being outside, I love being in nature, and I find that…again I’ve had some really great ideas that I’ve got really excited about. Usually, they come when I’m out and about walking, they do, and I love that, I really enjoy that. So definitely being out and I think just I spend a lot of time online, I spend a lot of time in front of my computer and just taking that time away from the world of digital and kind of reconnecting. It sounds a bit woo woo but you know what, it really really helps me. I find that very very inspiring.
And then other things, I love listening to podcasts, which is why I love doing them as well and I’m sure yours will be a great source of inspiration for people, listening to conversations like you’re having with people, for example, I try and listen to something every day or watch something on uTube every day just to give me…I find it just gives me that little bit of a kick of inspiration. And then something I’m doing at the moment is I’m running a local workshop which is kind of coaching, it’s called Action For Happiness, and that’s just helping people to learn how to be happier.
00:19:48
And I love sort of immersing myself around people, I get very very inspired by people so that always gives me a real fire in my belly as well and just really noticing the impact that people can have on one another and the power of community and the power of coming together. So there are a few things and reading. I love to read as well, I love to read, I love to listen to music.
And then just actually not thinking about my business at all, just being around friends, being around family, being around people who I can have a laugh with and relax with. I find that really inspiring because then I can go back to my business and I’m reenergised.
AO Definitely, some really great things there, being outdoors is so important though because we’re so sedentary now, aren’t we? Everybody’s kind of sat at their desk or sat at the computer and then if you’re not then you’re kind of sat staring at your phone. And it’s actually so rare and then you’re driving everywhere as well, I know I do that more and more, so actually to get that chance to actually go out, go for a walk, get some oxygen into your brain and into your lungs, it’s so critical.
LY Definitely, and you do know, it sounds so trivial, it sounds like oh that won’t help, but it does, it really really does help. So I definitely recommend like get outside people.
AO Definitely, and for stress as well, it’s such…the activity is such a good stress buster. How do you keep motivated when things get really tough? Because we talked about challenges and we talked about this being a roller coaster of ups and downs so when it is a particularly down time what keeps you going?
00:21:24
LY It’s hard because we talk about motivation a lot and it’s easy to be motivated in that moment but its how do you keep that up and how do you keep going when things do get tough. And I think it’s always coming back to why you’ve got to be passionate about what you do. It’s got to give you some fire; it’s got to give you some excitement. And I think if you can just pre-empt that there are going to be days when your motivation is going to be down, there are going to be days when you don’t feel like doing it.
And I think something that I try and do, I just try and do one thing that’s going to kind of get me further towards where I want to be or know that I’m reaching someone with something. So whether that’s starting to write a new article or sending out a little news letter, just do one thing. And if you just do that one thing when you’re in that slump you will usually find that that creates a little bit more momentum to do something else. So first of all you know, just pre-empt that there are going to be days like that.
And maybe have a like a podcast to listen to in those moments, that’s something I do as well, if I’m having a bit of like – oh God, I’ll just fire up a podcast and usually I come away from that and I’m kind of inspired again. Or just do one thing or just do one or two things and you will usually find that that will create a little bit more excitement or momentum.
00:22:35
Or on the days where you are feeling like this turn your attention to something completely different. Go and have coffee with a friend or go out for dinner, or just do something, take the focus perhaps away from your business and you’ll usually find that you’ll come back with a renewed energy.
AO Excellent advice, thank you so much. On to organisation and planning, it’s something that I know a lot of people do struggle with. Because there’s so much to do, you’re juggling lots of balls, how do you organise yourself and plan to get everything done?
LY Yes, mine’s really really simple, I wish I had a bit more of a sophisticated answer to this one but I just use Google calendar and I time block. So I time block and before my week starts I look usually on a Sunday night, and I look at my week and I think right, how many clients have I got tomorrow or what podcast interviews do I have tomorrow.
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Or what content will I want to be writing tomorrow and then me just, you know, I just plan it from there. So again it sounds really simple, it’s nothing radical at all, but yes, just use some kind of diary or time blocking device or system and that’s how I do it if I’m honest.
AO And Google calendar, very popular, sometimes it doesn’t need to be complicated, it needs to work, so simple but effective.
LY Yes, you know there’s a saying and I can’t remember who said it and I think this applies, I think it’s Tim Ferris actually and it can apply to so many things because we can get so overwhelmed by over complicating things and thinking that we have to have all of these radical systems. And he just said what would this look like if it were easy? And I just thought that was a great one because what would it look like if it were easy, well you know, just download Google calendar, it’s free, and just time block your time.
00:24:28
And you know I also time block those things like I mentioned earlier, the self care stuff, if I’ve got, I want to go to the yoga or I want to go out and take a break and go outside or read, I time block that stuff so it isn’t just the business stuff that’s in there. So I know that I can make time for the things that are really, really important.
AO The reality of it is, everybody, if you don’t put it into that calendar or into that diary the likelihood is it’s not going to happen. If you’re anything like me that’s the case, things have to be in there. Let’s fast forward, so what exciting things are coming up for you in your business?
LY Yes, so there’s a lot of exciting things coming up, I’m about to relocate, so I’m currently based in…Well I come from the UK as you can tell, I’m about to spend three months in Los Angeles which is really exciting and that’s partly for pleasure and partly for business. Because there’s a lot of – I collaborate with a lot of people out there and it kind of really just makes sense for me to be there for a while. So that’s kind of a personal thing that’s really exciting but will also filter into what’s happening in my business as well.
00:25:35
I’m about to go through a brand overhaul so my website it about to be redone, I’m having, I’ve got whole new copy prepared by an amazing copywriter I worked with. And I’m currently designing a new program as well which is going to be a group coaching, I think it’s going to be a six week program, taking you from break up to break through. It’s going to be really transformational. So I’m designing that. So they’re kind of the immediate things that are coming up but that’s going to take quite a lot of preparation. That’s kind of what’s in the works in the moment. So that’s very exciting.
AO Very exciting stuff that, so LA when is that happening?
LY The plan is the beginning of November, so not long.
AO By the time this goes live you’ll be in LA already.
LY Oh my goodness, I’ll get it from LA.
AO Exactly, love it.
LY And just going back tothe inspiration I find being out there, I’ve been there a few times over the past year and I find it really inspiring, I find the people to be very inspiring. And so just putting yourself in those inspiring environments that will be something different for everyone. Some people hate Los Angeles and I can totally understand that. So don’t feel that you’ve got to go somewhere like, fly across the world.
But it’s really important to look at your environment and who you surround yourself with and where you surround yourself…Because that can have a key influence on your business and you.
00:27:04
AO Who do you surround yourself with is absolutely critical, everybody, whatever you’re doing in life, but especially if you want to start your own business whether you’ve started it, just starting it, you’re already running it, those people will have such an impact on your mindset because it’s about your mindset, isn’t it? And so you need to be surrounded by positive people who have a positive input and who can actually support you and kind of drive you forward. And also challenge you as well.
LY Yes, it’s not just about having people around you who are going to tell you how fabulous you are.
AO We do like that though!
00:27:37
LY We do like that mostly, don’t we? You need a bit of a mixture of both, you need people who are going to challenge you but do it in a very kind of compassionate way that’s going to get your brain fired up. But then likewise people who can share your, share the good things that are happening with you and who you can do the same for as well. There’s nothing like having that kind of community of people, it’s great that the internet is out there to create these communities online but you can’t be having that in real life as well.
AO Yes, it’s all about your mastermind, isn’t it, that’s where this mastermind thing has sprung from. Get yourself a mastermind, these round about people who are driving towards the same thing, have got the same passions, are ambitious and that will rub off on you, some of their happiness and [unclear] and then also you can share some of yours with them as well.
LY Yes, definitely. Completely agree.
AO And then there’s obviously the rebranding and group coaching so that sounds very exciting.
LY Yes, well what I’ve come to realise is that what people are really seeking, obviously going through a breakup is a very personal thing but people really seek that support from each other as well. Like to know that they’re all going on a journey together and that if someone else feels that way that they’re feeling. And so I really want to create that environment for people, for people who I work with, just create a small intimate group couching where there is kind of a build in that community and we can really help one another on that journey. So I think that’s going to be really powerful so I’m very excited about that.
AO I have to ask you, people listening who perhaps work on their own and might be thinking you’ve obviously had some fantastic opportunities in terms of collaboration and meeting great people, what would you advise people that are looking to do that, how can they go about starting to find people to collaborate with, or to meet with, or to get involved with?
LY Yes, I mean collaboration’s been a huge part of building my business and what I do and really yes, how did I start? So it’s reaching out to people, it’s looking at people you really would like to collaborate with and not just emailing them and saying can you work with me. You know, really really sending them something really friendly, introducing yourself and putting something together that’s going to make it mutually beneficial. So you’re not going at it from a place of oh well what can I get from you? It’s like how is working with me going to benefit that person.
00:30:03
And through doing that I’ve got so many wonderful friendships actually, I work with some amazing people in the breakup space, in the dating space, in the personal development space, and it is, it’s just being really forward thinking about how you approach those people as well and how you build and maintain those relationships. I mean collaboration is a great way to get yourself in front of a new audience as well so I would definitely recommend that people do it. You’ve just got to be quite – well you’ve just got to do it in a certain way, as I said, when they’re receiving that email, that they can see that it’s going to be beneficial to them. And they can see you’re an actual human being, you’re not just spamming them.
00:30:49
AO And we do get lots of those, exactly.
LY Yes, I have done, I have. And I generally try and respond to everybody but I really, if someone’s just sending me an email saying can I just put my stuff on your site, can I work with you, and it’s kind of like well this seems very very one sides, I usually don’t really have any interest in working with them. Because that kind of – it doesn’t suggest that they’re going to be a great person to work with.
I really like to work with people and as I say a lot of people who I’ve collaborated with in the past have not become friends. And they’ve become like business – we mentor each other and we go through things together and that’s really, really nice. So you can build some really really great friendships and connections by doing that.
AO It’s about that win win, isn’t it? And also like Albert Einstein said, becoming a person of value and then becoming a person of success. So actually how can you help people, how can you help someone, how can you actually put yourself out there and not just be thinking about yourself? And then the rest of it will follow.
LY Definitely. I guess it’s like when you – well when you reached out to me to be on here you’d obviously taken a lot of time to read up on what I did, you were – you really understood it, you were really complimentary about it, and I could tell that you’ve spent time doing that. And I’m sure you do that with all your guests. Whereas…so obviously I wanted to come on your show because if that’s the way you were, so warm and so friendly, and I really felt like I got a sense of who you were. And I think that’s the approach that you’ve got to take when you’re looking to make collaborations with people.
AO Thank you so much, but absolutely, and it’s easy when you’re passionate and you really are interested and for me, the excitement is talking to the kind of fantastic entrepreneurs like yourself who are doing really great things and sharing your journey and your story with our audience. So thank you very much.
00:32:34
LY No, thank you, thank you for having me, and also I will just say like on collaborations, don’t be afraid to reach out to people, even if you think oh God they’ve got lots more followers that me or they’re a little bit more established than me, if you do it in the right way, I mean I’ve just kind of taken a leap of faith on people that I’ve collaborated with or even journalists for getting press and that type of thing. Just do it, just reach out to these people.
Because the worst case scenario is that they say no and then you’ve not even really lost out. So don’t be afraid to reach out to people, just do it in a way that they can see that you’re a real person behind that and you really do want to work with them.
00:33:09
AO And you know what, a no could just be a no for now and then you kind of go on to the next person and try them again later.
LY Exactly, once you build your confidence in doing that it becomes less daunting.
AO Definitely. So what’s your ultimate vision for the business?
LY My ultimate vision, oh gosh, I probably should have a lot more clarity around this but I know that my vision changes all the time and I don’t tend to kind of work with like five year plans or anything like that because I know how much I evolve. And my core business will be the same. But I think ultimately I would love to have a book. I’m considering writing a book, so I would love to have a book out there.
I would love to have products, like physical products as well, like some really fun that us really kind empowering and to just really to reach…you know, I’d love to kind of – I’ve always had this thing like I’d love to heal a million broken hearts, so I’d love to reach a million people doing what I do. So that would be incredible. But yes, just to help as many people as possible to really build my brand and to really connect with more people. So yes, that’s at the moment what I’d love to do.
AO I love that. Heal a million broken hearts, that’s fantastic. And work that into the title of your book.
LY What I should do is I should have a counter on my website, 10,000 hearts mended.
AO Do you know what, you must do that, I’m going to check!
00:34:48
LY Yes, that would be…I mean I’d love to do, I’d also love to do a TV show about what I do as well and I just think there’s so much scope, there’s so much scope out there. But again it’s like keeping my ideas, kind of taking something and running with it, then taking something else and running with it as opposed to sort of doing it all as a big mish mash. But it’s good to dream, it’s good to have that vision. So it’s a nice question to be asked.
AO Exactly, you have to have those desires and those ambitions so there we go. So moving on towards the end of the interview now, what is the one thing that you wish someone had told you when you were starting out, what is the one thing you feel that every entrepreneur should know?
LY I think that don’t feel that you have to be good at everything. When you start a business there’s a lot of pressure to think, oh my God, I’ve got to be a content creator, I’ve got to be an accountant, I’ve got to be a graphic designer, I’ve got to be a copy writer. And really as we said before focus mainly on what your strengths are and what you enjoy because the intersection there will be where you really flourish.
And go and smash doing those things, double down on those things because good is good enough or even fine is good enough for the other things and you will reach a point where you can outsource them as well. So I think really don’t get bogged down with the nitty gritty of the things you hate doing or that you aren’t good out. Just figure out a way to make them good enough for what you need and really really focus on your strengths and what you enjoy and what you love doing and what you’re passionate about. Because doing that will drive you forwards.
00:36:23
And yes, and I think something else as well, there’s probably two things then really, is to make yourself as visible as possible. When I started out and it’s something which going through this rebrand I’m really going to up the ante on this big time, is to make yourself more visible, get out there on face book live, get out there on other people’s podcasts. Or it depends on what your business is but don’t always hide behind the website. Find ways to really connect with your audience on a more personal level. If it isn’t video for you you can find another way.
But people love to work with people so the more that you can be seen, the more your stuff is visible I think that’s a really good thing to bear in mind. It’s really scary, it’s daunting, but if you are really passionate about your message and you are really clear on what your message is and you really kind of go for it your people will find you. Your clients, your customers, your readers, they will find you so that is something which I would definitely suggest people take on board.
AO Such great words of wisdom, thank you so much Laura, just to reiterate, good is good enough, you know, being obsessed with perfection, trying to get things to that…looking at the minutiae, something that’s good now is much better than something that’s great later. Because actually if you keep going at it by the time it’s ready to go or you release it or whatever it might be people have moved on. Or someone else has already done it, they’re already out there. So just get yourself out there.
00:37:45
LY Start before you’re ready, because the thing is things can be tweaked, there’s no point in trying to get something perfect from the onset because when you haven’t done something before and when you’re just starting out and when you’re launching something new unless you’ve been doing it for a long long time really you don’t know how people are going to respond to that.
So it’s better to kind of get it out there and then be able to tweak it afterwards rather than spending all of that time trying to get it perfect to then have to completely change it later anyway. So launch fast, start quickly, start before you’re ready and really focus on what your strengths are.
AO So true, and then when you’re doing those tweaks later it can be based on what people actually want, not just what you think they want.
LY Exactly, it will be based on evidence that this is what people want from you. So that’s a much more, from like a marketing perspective and a business perspective and a financial perspective that’s going to serve you so much better, it’s a much more productive use of your time doing it that way.
00:38:41
AO I love it, and also finally, make yourself visible. I have to say when you said this, when you said make yourself visible automatically, I’m a very visual person; I might just imagine somebody painting themselves in some kind of luminous paint and running around. Clearly, that’s not what we mean!
LY No, that’s not what we mean. But just people need to find you, people need to find you and you know the way that social media is going you sort of have to evolve with that in a way when your business is on line anyway. If you want to reach more people as I said maybe you’re not like a video person, then find another way that you can start doing stuff. Because there are – you know you get really creative.
And again that’s where you kind of tap into your zone of genius, tap into what you’re really good at and just really think about where people can see more of you because people will then buy from you if they like you. And the ones that don’t like you, well not like don’t like you but the ones who perhaps feel like you’re not such a good fit for what they want, that’s great, because it really gives you, it gives you an idea of who your ideal person is to work with or to serve. Or your ideal reader, whatever your business is.
AO Excellent, really actionable advice, thank you so much Laura. Do you have a final piece, a final word of wisdom that you think take this away if nothing else?
00:39:53
LY Yes, this is something which I wish I had done and it’s only quite recently that I’ve got really comfortable with this, and it’s be yourself, get inspiration from others but don’t think you have to be like them, just because they are doing well or they’re making sales or they have loads of followers, because what works for them might not work for you. And yes, as I said earlier strategies and having focus is very important and it’s helpful.
But what over rides that and it’s helpful but what over rides that and what’s kind of going to take you all the way to the next level is always taking inspired action that really fits with who you are. So be you, be yourself, be vulnerable, put yourself out there and be really clear on what your message is and kind of really just go for it, go hell for leather.
AO Love it, that’s fantastic, fantastic advice, thank you so much Laura, you’ve been such a pleasure, and you’ve given great actionable advice throughout the whole interview and been very generous with your time. Before we say goodbye please tell us how can we connect with you? Where can we find you?
LY Sure, well firstly thank you very much for having me on and saying all those lovely things, that’s been really really great, to speak to you about all of this. So people can find me on my website at laurayates.org. Probably by the time people, this interview goes out, my new website should hopefully be live as well so people can find me there. There can get my free breakup audio advice at laurayates.org/breakupaudio and I’m on twitter at laurayatesuk, at Instagram at lauramyates and face book laura.yates. So if people type in Laura Yates breakup they’ll find me.
00:41:28
AO They will find you, laurayates.org. And everything that Laura has said today will be on She Owns Success website with the show notes and the links to her site as well so please pop along there to visit us as well. Thank you, with all of that we have to say goodbye now so thank you very much for listening my fellow top women. I look forward to sharing another amazing journey with you next time. Bye Laura.
LY Bye Antonette.
AO Thanks for joining me for this episode of She Owns Success and for listening to Laura’s amazing story. It’s now time for you to start owning your success, so head over to sheownssuccess.com where you’ll find plenty of free resources and everything that we’ve discussed today will be found on Laura’s show notes page at sheownssucess.com. If you have enjoyed the show and you’d like to continue hearing more amazing journeys please head over to iTunes where you can leave a rating and your view. Till next time, bye bye.
