Written by Odilia McLeod, an Executive and Emotional Intelligence Coach with more than 30 years of corporate experience and graduate training in psychology. She helps professionals navigate change, career transitions, and leadership challenges with greater clarity, self-awareness, and intention.
Disappointment is information.
I’ve been thinking a lot about disappointment lately.
Some former colleagues were recently laid off. Some had invested a decade or more in the company.
I’ve written before that work, at its core, is a transaction. You contribute your time, talent and expertise. In return, you are compensated.
But many of us give much more than that.
We take the red-eye so we don’t lose a workday, miss the recital, answer Slack from vacation, or put our health, relationships, and sometimes ourselves second.
There’s nothing wrong with giving more, as long as we understand why and if it fulfills us, challenges us, or gives us something we personally value.
But if beneath that sacrifice is an expectation that our loyalty will someday be reciprocated, we may find ourselves deeply disappointed.
And lately, I’ve been reminded this isn’t only true at work.
I’ve experienced disappointment in some people I care about. And I’ve had a harder time letting go of it than I expected.
Which has made me ask myself:
What, exactly, am I grieving when I feel disappointed?
What happened or what I believed should have happened?
Perhaps the answer isn’t to stop having expectations. We are human. We hope. We trust. We invest. We care.
But perhaps we need to recognize when an expectation has quietly become an agreement the other person or organization never actually made.
What Disappointment is Teaching Us
Perhaps disappointment has something to teach us.
It can show us where we overinvested.
Where we assumed reciprocity.
Where our values differed from someone else’s.
Where we ignored information because we wanted a different outcome.
Or simply how deeply something mattered to us.
So before rushing to “let it go,” maybe there is another question worth asking:
What is this disappointment trying to teach me?
Feel it. Understand it. Take the information it offers.
And then ask:
What is it still serving?
Because there comes a point when reflection stops helping us understand what happened and starts keeping us tethered to it.
We cannot control whether a company rewards our loyalty or whether another person reciprocates our care, effort or expectations.
But we can decide what we do with what they have shown us.
Maybe letting go of disappointment isn’t deciding that what happened was okay.
Maybe it’s accepting what happened, listening to what it taught us, and refusing to let it take anything more.
I’m still working through this one myself.
So here’s my question for you to reflect on:
What has disappointment taught you that you might not have seen otherwise?
If you’re navigating a disappointment, transition, or experience that’s asking you to reconsider what comes next, you can connect with Odilia McLeod for a conversation: Book a Free 30-minute conversation
Learn more about Odilia McLeod and her work on her She Owns Success Expert Profile.
